“What brings us the idea that we are not capable to do it?
Where comes the belief that we’re not able to do it?
Do you have any idea about that? I think you mentioned with the study about teachers motivating students or not very much already one major source, which is other people and people who bring us up and the challenges that we have to face. Maybe the first years of our lives, right? And then however these challenges turn out.
So for example, with the sports example, for example, the sports example. I went to a girls school and so I don’t know what sports is like in a mixed high school like most people do. But I guess for me, it was this is if that I could always be one of the best in that area and I never really doubted myself. When there was someone getting close to me or another really good student, I would go into competition mode. But from there, a lot of the self-belief comes that I can do it. And then differently, for example, I’ve never been I think I don’t think I was a great math student.
I was like, okay, but then I studied management and then economics. And for me, the turning point was to understand how to apply the numbers and the statistics. So, yeah, I have similar example. I mean, for example, in the way, no, it’s funny because it’s like nearly the opposite.
For example, swimming. I’m really, really, really bad at it.
Still now I’m barely capable of swimming.
But that’s also and I remember because already when I was very, very young, you know, they bring us to the swimming pool. I was supposed to learn swimming and already everybody knew how to swim.
I was already feeling really shitty not to be able to swim. And therefore I was so anxious and so feeling bad about myself that I was doing everything not to do the exercise and being convinced I cannot make it. You know, I don’t want to do it or shameful enough like this.
And then only very late I managed to do this 150 meters certificate or something. But still now I’m really I feel really bad about swimming.
I feel not confident, etc.
So it’s also and instead you’re taking management numbers and so on. As for me, it was more about writing.
Whenever I was writing something in the class, that was good.
That was just very good. And the teacher was happy and putting a very good grade, etc. So that was also encouraging me a lot.
And I think now similarly to you as now in sport, you know, you have the confidence you can make it, etc. In work, maybe sometimes you doubt, you said. I mean, sometimes I doubt also at work, but for sure swimming pool.
I’m really bad at that.
And then I also with work, I remind myself that that I’m good at it, you know, like that I was good since I’m young. So what we are seeing there is that indeed the experience when we are very young is fundamental is even determining for the future. And what also is interesting for me is that in all these examples, it’s very contingent.
And by that, I mean that things could have been very different. So for me, maybe if I had to learn to swim when I was five years old, six years old, then I would have gone to the swimming pool with the other kids.
I would feel confident.
I would swim with them.
Then I would feel good about it.
And now I would be swimming in the ocean, you know, or something like that. So what strikes me is that how much significant are these experiences of childhood already?
And also how much they are arbitrary or contingent that maybe just with a different education, different activity, different, you change a little thing at the beginning.
And that could also change a lot. Yeah.
Or one person complimenting you or stressing that you’re really good at it or giving you confidence, the belief in yourself. “